I spent around 18 months as part of a player run corporation and ultimately a largish alliance. I made myself available as a resource for others. I played the game the way CCP wants the game played. I helped make content. I participated in roams and bashes. I defended my home, no matter how badly. I helped take other's homes away from them. I was decidedly outside my comfort zone. Not because I can't do all those things, and even become expert at some of them. I prefer to make my own way in the universe. It's just the way I am. Even in RL I don't like relying on other people. During the times I am most honest with myself, when the night is so deep the disquiet of my own thoughts scream like a band saw ripping through my brain, I know it's because I feel others will always let me down. I've good reason to believe that way. I've long been the only person I was absolutely certain I could rely on. And if I fail, well then, I'd be the only one affected, now wouldn't I? Those feelings more than any other caused my hiatus from New Eden over the past several months. That time is over.
But I'm not going back to relying on other people, no matter how well-intentioned. And with the upcoming release of Kronos, the more rapid release schedule, and the unknowns that come with all the changes to industry in general, I find myself reluctant to get involved in any big industrial endeavors. So I am going to do two things. First, I am going back to basics. I fell in love with EVE Online while a lone wolf miner in Verge Vendor. I may not have played directly with other people, but I was always playing alongside other people. I'd watch what they did. I'd occasionally chat in local. I'd relax. That's something I haven't been able to do with EVE Online for a long time. I find I long for those stress free days of making ISK one asteroid at a time. So I'm going back to basics.
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The second thing I'm going to do I've already done. And because I value my lone wolf status, I'm just going to leave it there. Those who know me can probably guess. But what's the sense in that? You can always run a locator agent on me. It's not like I've left high-sec or anything. ;-)