It began with a war-dec. I choose my words carefully and they found their mark. There are those who say you should leave sleeping bears be. But I've little patience for demagoguery and it isn't freedom of expression if you're intimidated into remaining silent. You could say my soul searching, if you would, started back then. I made my choice and that set me on a path I'd rather not have taken but principles would not let me ignore.
When the war ended, I agreed to join HBHI in their old C3. The path I'd set upon I could not drag others down. They were new bros, too young to be traveling my road. They needed a chance to grow up and I took the opportunity to part from them when it was offered. We all defend our homes, our families - those of blood and those of choice. That is human nature. I handed over my corporation and it's asset and left for unknown space. That was the best way I could defend my new bro family.
HBHI became my family of choice. I was to be their carebear, helping them make the ISK needed to maintain our home. Part of me hoped that would be all I ever had to do. That it would be enough. I contested any probing of our home or raiding of our resources, but I stuck to our system and only entered connecting systems as scout. I did not attack others outside our home system and that gave me the illusion of carebeardom if nothing else.
Perhaps that as much as anything has led to this dilemma in my capsuleer life. Regardless, the situation has changed immensely since that night. HBHI is now part of a bigger vision. It is a vision we as a corporation democratically decided to pursue. That vision is not one of simple defense. It encompasses violence for hire as well as for fun. Perhaps I did not appreciate this aspect of our devil's agreement when I voted to join Surely You're Joking.
If I'm honest about it, it's taken some getting used to - more so than I was completely comfortable with admitting to myself. In secret I questioned if I had made the right choice. I doubt that I am cut out for this new life. The capsuleers I deal with on a daily basis are decidedly not like me. I am quiet; they are loud. I am polite; they are not always. I am reserved; they are in your face brash and bawdy enough to make a whore blush at times.
But for all the rough edges they don't mind rubbing against others, they are good people. They'd burn out their ship's engines to save your pod. They'll hold the static open for you so you can get home. They'll share their hard earned wisdom with you solicited or not but always when it is most certainly needed.
So it has come to pass that I've fought along side them in three Alliance fleet actions. The first was consensual combat between two C6 alliances. The second was an ambush of two capital ships clearing a sleeper site. The third was last Thursday when we hot-dropped another alliance in Yiratal.
There could have been a fourth, but the unsuspecting capsuleers were flying Mackinaws. There is no fun for me in blowing up an out gunned capsuleer. It's like shooting fish in a barrel. "Where's the sport in that?" I ask myself. And that question, more than anything else, helped me solidify my new understanding of the meaning of being Mabrick.
I'm a carebear by temperament. I don't steal. I don't pod kill unless you're James315. I don't fire on innocents. I don't often PvP. But when I do, I shoot combat ships. That's just the way I am. If this makes me weak in your eyes, please try me.
This is my own personal code of behavior. I expect no one else to follow it. I pass no judgments on those who fly with me if they do what I won't. But don't expect me to warp scramble pods or ambush Mackinaws to teach the miners a lesson. You'll be disappointed with me if you do - but that's better than me being disappointed with myself.
PS: This is NOT a recrimination of anyone I personally know or don't personally know. It is a personal choice I've decided to share with my readers. I respect your right to act by whatever code of conduct you choose to follow. And understand that when I use the term "do it like a man," I am stating it as the most interesting man in the world would. I am not implying you are not a man for blowing up miners - unless you're James315.