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Friday, July 22, 2011

How not to respond to smack talk.

I left the station this evening on my PI run only to have my ears assaulted by banal dick swinging the like of which I've never encountered in Aporulie. It is typically very quite - just the way an industrialist likes it. Tonight it was obvious that something different was afoot.
2011.07.23 03:43:14 ] Jawbonz > you got yo 15 homo's and 5 neut anal oilers ready cause you butt monkeys are about to face your demise
[ 2011.07.23 03:43:24 ] Bl4ck Dynamite > maybe when u get back from the kitchen u will undock?
[ 2011.07.23 03:44:00 ] Jawbonz > Your dadys here biuch
[ 2011.07.23 03:44:10 ] Jawbonz > shut the fuck up
[ 2011.07.23 03:44:22 ] Jawbonz > coont
[ 2011.07.23 03:45:07 ] Jawbonz > beers
[ 2011.07.23 03:45:09 ] Jawbonz > pussy
[ 2011.07.23 03:45:19 ] Jawbonz > bottle of tequila here
[ 2011.07.23 03:45:31 ] Testecles > omg fruit loops is booooomb
[ 2011.07.23 03:46:02 ] Testecles > beer + undocked > tequila + dick sucking dock fags
[ 2011.07.23 03:46:32 ] Testecles > you're so good at space games it makes me want to dock too
[ 2011.07.23 03:46:37 ] Testecles > that must be the secret
[ 2011.07.23 03:46:44 ] Testecles > stay docked and win everything
[ 2011.07.23 03:47:11 ] Jawbonz > and if my fc kicks me for drinking and fighting I will have our net master give me your address and make you watch me ass rape every living thing in you house, including the plants, before I climb into your ass like a gorilla and kick your eyes out from
[ 2011.07.23 03:47:15 ] Jawbonz > the inside
[ 2011.07.23 03:47:42 ] fatakeen > ok...gotta ask....ur name is Testecles and you keep talking about dicks and fags....kinda makes the general audience wonder dude
[ 2011.07.23 03:47:54 ] Testecles > I luuuub dicks
[ 2011.07.23 03:48:04 ] fatakeen > ahhh
[ 2011.07.23 03:48:08 ] fatakeen > ok
[ 2011.07.23 03:48:11 ] Testecles > space dicks yum
[ 2011.07.23 03:48:17 ] Testecles > dock dicks yuckie
So, you get the idea. We've all seen it before. The trash talk in local. The infantile gay jabs. The equally infantile retorts. Yeah, there was going to be a fight.
[ 2011.07.23 03:52:50 ] Testecles > but my inkling was right
[ 2011.07.23 03:53:00 ] Testecles > not even Gay porn is Gayer than Storm Alliance
[ 2011.07.23 03:53:25 ] Jawbonz > hope you got dopler 9 bird brian
[ 2011.07.23 03:53:56 ] Testecles > I can only hope to understand what that means
[ 2011.07.23 03:54:26 ] Jawbonz > to check the weather
[ 2011.07.23 03:54:38 ] Jawbonz > theres a STORM a brewing
[ 2011.07.23 03:54:43 ] Testecles > ahh it looks fine out here
[ 2011.07.23 03:54:44 ] Jawbonz > bitch
[ 2011.07.23 03:54:58 ] Jawbonz > its the calm just before
[ 2011.07.23 03:55:06 ] Jawbonz > bitch
[ 2011.07.23 03:55:14 ] Testecles > well I guess indoor storms are possible
[ 2011.07.23 03:55:18 ] DeMarrage > Pretty Calm at the Yona Gate
[ 2011.07.23 03:55:31 ] Jawbonz > datz right
[ 2011.07.23 03:55:34 ] Jawbonz > for now
It takes no Sherlock Holmes at this point to realize that someone is trying to lure STORM alliance capsuleers to the Yona gate. Soon I knew why.
[ 2011.07.23 04:17:19 ] Jawbonz > You talk about boaring
[ 2011.07.23 04:17:34 ] Jawbonz > you're war decing
[ 2011.07.23 04:17:39 ] Jawbonz > we defend
[ 2011.07.23 04:17:47 ] Jawbonz > you suck dick
I finished out my PI run, jumped into my Helios Space Ghost, and warped over to have a look. Testecles orbited the gate close in with a Domi launching taunts. Space Ghost's AI returned an alliance tab on the Domi of 31st Reliables Division (31RD.) There was no one else around. It had to be a trap. As I orbited under cloak 100km off the gate, STORM arrived. It was a big mistake.


At some point, someone really has to do something about grey logistics in hi-sec. STORM never had a chance. Three Basilisks warped in to rep the 31RD though I'm not sure they needed them with a Domi, Rohk, Proteus and several other lesser ships on hand. They more than met the 3rd Principle of War in Field Manual 3-0.
Mass: Mass the effects of overwhelming combat power at the decisive place and time. Synchronizing all the elements of combat power where they will have decisive effect on an enemy force in a short period of time is to achieve mass. Massing effects, rather than concentrating forces, can enable numerically inferior forces to achieve decisive results, while limiting exposure to enemy fire.
Well done 31RD. I hope you learned a good lesson STORM.

Fly careful.

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Be civil, be responsible and most of all be kind. I will not tolerate poor form. There will be no James Hooks here. We are all better than that.